“He craves as many friends as possible, not, however, that he may live happily; for he will live happily even without friends.” – Seneca
The key to living happily comes down to knowing what we can and what we can not control and then focusing our energy and time only on the things we can control. We might think that this doesn’t relate to our friendships or social relationships and that thought would lead us into having expectations about how a friendship should work. When these expectations are not met, this eventually leads to resentment, even small amounts of resentment, that will eventually undermine the foundation of what could have been a wonderful relationship.
We have control over only one person in any relationship. Ourselves. And if we focus on that and control our thoughts, our words, and our actions we can work towards becoming the best friend possible to those around us.
If we do that, many of our friends will come to value us immensely, because we will always have their best interests in mind. Some people will be turned off by us because we will reflect qualities that they recognize as lacking in their own lives. And some people will just not like us. But we have no control over the thoughts and actions of others.
And the sooner we accept that, the happier we will be.
virtus fortis vocat