September 28

“That is why no fear is as ruinous and so uncontrollable as panic fear. For other fears are groundless, but this fear is witless.” – Seneca

One of the primary skills we need to learn in order to stay on the path to becoming our best selves is to detach from situations and allow ourselves to see them from the outside just a little bit. This is hard, especially when we are in the middle of a crisis or in the middle of what feels like a crisis to us. It takes discipline to implement this skill, it takes discipline to practice it, and it takes discipline to continue to work at it, especially when we fail. And we will fail.

But if we can learn to detach and look at situations and answer questions like; what do I look like right now? How do I sound right now?  Am I making the right decision for the long term at the moment? Do I have this other person’s best interest in mind? And as we start to ask ourselves these questions, they automatically pull us back from the situation we are in and force us to evaluate it from a different angle.

Eventually, maybe even years from now, we’ll become so good at this that when actual crises emerge, we will be so focused on seeing it from the outside and making the right decisions that we won’t even have time to be afraid, or frustrated or overwhelmed.

And that is part of being our best selves.

virtus fortis vocat

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